Listening

This is the first of a two-part series on improving communications at MidSouth. Communication, more specifically listening, is the third of our eight pillars of cultural excellence. In Habit 5 of his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey said “Seek First to Understand then to be Understood”. He believed that this habit lay at the center of effective communication. If you notice, this habit is about seeking understanding, rather than being heard. This is so difficult for most of us to do. However, when we become active listeners, we can establish ourselves as someone people feel comfortable coming to with issues. When they do come, this greatly enhances our opportunities to impact those around us.

It is easy to recognize the signs of poor listening/communication in the workplace. Where there are poor communications there is often low morale, low levels of collaboration, more conflict and increased levels of stress. One of the leading causes of failed relationships, personal or professional, is one party not feeling understood by the other. In a study conducted by Forbes magazine, 74% of employees report they are more effective in their job when they feel heard. However, 86% of the employees surveyed did not feel they were listened to or understood at work.

People long to be listened to. When people are listened to they feel valued. When employees feel valued, they remain engaged and tend to be higher performing, productive and happier employees. So why is this such an issue? Why do we fail to do something that we know would have a such positive impact? In this article I want to explore a few common barriers to effective listening:

1. Dissatisfaction or Disinterest With One’s Job If you are unhappy or have lost interest in your job, you are far less likely to communicate effectively – both on the giving and receiving ends.

2. Failure to Listen to Others Active listening is an important aspect of effective communication. You cannot engage with someone if you are not listening to them because you will tend to make assumptions about their needs based on your perceptions versus reality.

3. Lack of Transparency & Trust It is extremely difficult to communicate anything when there is a lack of transparency and trust. For example, if your staff believes you are holding something back, they will be anxious, some will speculate, and as a result, it will be more difficult for them to process any attempt you make to communicate with them.

4. Communication Styles (when they differ) Everyone has their own communication style. Some people are very direct while others prefer a more indirect approach. Occasionally, one person is so entrenched in their way of communicating, that they find it difficult to communicate with others who rely on a different style.

5. Conflicts in the Workplace Conflict can happen for a variety of reasons and when it does, it becomes a barrier to effective communication. The nature of the conflict is not necessarily important, what is important is working to resolve the conflict. When conflict is not eradicated, it grows and then people begin to take sides, which further impedes effective communication.

I hope this helps you identify a few things that you can eliminate to become a more effective listener/communicator. Next week we will deep dive into the concept of ACTIVE LISTENING and

Active listening means as the name suggests, actively listening. That is fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively hearing the message of the speaker. Active listening involves listening with all the senses. These include our non-verbals like our posture, our facial expressions, and our eye contact. This also involves eliminating distractions so that we can focus on the message.

Listening is not something that just happens (that’s hearing), listening is an active process in which a conscious decision is made to listen and understand the message of the speaker. Listeners should remain neutral and non-judgmental, this means trying not to take sides or form opinions, especially early in conversations. Active listening is also about patience. Listeners should not be tempted to jump in with questions or comments every time there is a few seconds of silence. Active listening involves giving the other person time to explore their thoughts and feelings, they should, therefore, be given adequate time for that.

So we have established the value of improving listening to improve communications.

Growing Trust at Work

As we continue to examine the eight Pillars of Culture of Mid South Rehab, we are ready to look at TRUST. I don’t think it is a revelation that trust is a very fragile thing. It is hard to develop and even harder to maintain. Our standards are high. It doesn’t take much for someone to break a trust with us and it is very difficult to repair. According to Sabrina Romanoff Ph.D., “Trust is the foundation of relationships because it allows you to be vulnerable and open up to the person without having to defensively protect yourself.” When we are comfortable with being vulnerable, we are comfortable enough to be ourselves, to think and act outside of the box, and take risks. This creates a positive, productive and comfortable workplace.

Trust at work, just as in a personal relationship, must go both ways. In our therapeutic world, patients must trust us to be caring and competent so they will seek out our services. We must trust them to keep appointments and complete assigned tasks for therapy to be beneficial.

For our company to be most effective, our employers must trust team members and team members must trust leadership. Seems like trust is an essential part in everything we do.

So, with trust being so important, why is it so hard to build and maintain? It’s likely that each of us has had trusts broken over time. We have all been hurt or disappointed by someone. The more of those experiences we have had, the more sensitive we have become to avoid being hurt again. We tend to close ourselves off more and more and let fewer people in. That makes relationships, personal or professional, more difficult to form. Once we are hurt by someone it makes it very difficult for that trust to be restored. (I hope you analyze where your trust levels are and how that impacts your relationships – that is essential to self-awareness)

In the workplace, we are around others with similar experiences. We begin to share stories of broken trust and often bond from that. From there we can quickly form cultures of distrust, which has a tremendous impact on office culture and employee engagement. It is amazing how quickly a negative workplace can develop. So how can we grow a culture of trust on our team? I have two short, but difficult steps we can follow:

1. Make and keep promises- this is a proactive step we can take, that we have complete control over.

2. Do what you say you’re going to do

3. Be careful what you say yes to. It is ok to say “NO”

4. Control what you can control – Manage you. Model appropriate thinking and behavior and then gradually expand that influence throughout your team. Remember, racehorses wear blinders for a reason. It eliminates distractions and keeps them focused on the finish line. We could learn a lot from a few old racehorses.

As I have said before if we want to create a more trusting work environment, be more trustworthy. Model the behavior we are looking for in others.

This week be the change you are looking for in others,

Dan

Showing the Love of Mid South

by Dan Ridley

We have spent the last couple of weeks discussing the foundation of FAITH at Mid South. If you will notice in the graphic below, faith supports each of our eight pillars of culture.

As I discuss the eight pillars, I will always emphasize how faith impacts each. I want to begin today with the first pillar, LOVE. Love in the workplace certainly looks different than how love might look at home. And, yet there are many similarities. Love at work is about viewing employees as humans and whole people, not just cogs in the company wheel. This whole-person approach inevitably leads to team members feeling valued and recognized as real people who have real personalities and live outside the facility.

Research shows that love is an antidote to employee burnout. According to Gallup research organizations must strategically focus on three areas when dealing with burnout at work, and the first area is making wellbeing a part of their culture. A classic article in the Harvard Business Review (HBR) from 2014, called Employees Who Feel Love Perform Better, says that love has a strong influence on workplace outcomes, and that “those who perceive greater affection and caring from their colleagues perform better.”

According to social researcher Brené Brown, humans are driven by the need to be worthy of love and belonging, but to make a connection with another person requires authenticity and vulnerability. That may not always feel safe in the workplace, but it’s worth it, says Brown. “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” And there’s no reason to be stingy with love. “When you practice empathy and compassion with someone, there is not less of these qualities to go around. There’s more. Love is the last thing we need to ration in this world.”

So how can we show love in the workplace? Here are a few cost-effective, easy and practical tips:

1. Do a small survey within your office to find out small things that motivate your people – Don’t assume the same thing works for everyone.

2. Take time to really get to know your people – Find out about their families, their hobbies, and their passions outside of work and then follow up regularly on how all of those things are going.

3. Small acts of kindness – could be as little as a sticky note on someone’s desk or their favorite candy or drink. These are great ways of showing appreciation.

4. Hand-written notes – A thank you or appreciation note, a birthday or anniversary card shows people we are thinking of them.

5. Be present - Have a listening ear and simply let team members know you are there for them. You will be amazed at how many people we work with that don’t have anyone to just listen to.

Remember Aesop once said, “No act of kindness is ever wasted.”